A Shining Light in a Dark Place.

I just couldn’t do it. I could not do it. It’s caused me great stress in these 33, beginning of 34 turns around the sun. Mister ego. I can’t kill it. I have done all I can possibly do. I’ve shut the fuck up about it. I’ve ignored it. I’ve buried it in the crowd… It persisted. For half my life I’d try to drown it with alcohol. I’ve spent almost 2 decades, 20 times around the sun, drugging it… Heavily… It persisted. I’ve fought it. Persistently. By day and worse by night. For 33 turns around the sun. And on my body I’ve tattooed every loss my ego has ever given me. Every single loss. Every. Single. One. And it’s not just the picture of a loss. It’s every single loss. Every. Single. Loss. My. Ego. Has. Ever. Given. Me. In one dot of ink from that one single needle. One single dot, to one single line, to one single tattoo at at time. An ungodly number of dots scattered across my body. I’ve taken so many losses that now I have a cage around my ego. He would not die. He. Would. Not. Die. And now, inside of his cage, I can’t kill Mister ego. Now it comes with me and I’m his monster. You want to come for a ride with me? Huh, Mister ego? You want to know what fear is? Well, Mister ego I’ll show you what fear is. I’m the boogeyman of my egos dreams. My ego works for me now. 

So that’s like a metaphor. It’s not real life. It’s just a story I made up while I was traveling. What I’m tryin to say is that, philosophically, we don’t technically have to kill our egos. Especially! Especially!! Those who are suffering from any type of depression, post traumatic stress, “dis”order of the poles, and issues such as those! Killing your ego is terrible advice for these types of people!!!! Embrace your ego!!! Hold it down hard and tell it who is boss!!! Your depression is a great tool!!! You can use it to help balance your ego!! Stop trying to kill it! You’re making you problems worse! Stop using so many pills, so much alcohol!! EVERYTHING IN MODERATION! Even your ego! 

Also, shout out to all the people in the FTS Fam over there in Stratford, Connecticut! George, Mario, Raquel, Dan, Mikey, Alex, Jodi, Steve, and everyone that supports their business; Forest to Shore Gallery! For almost 8 years solid now, these people have been serving the community and putting on events for people from all around the world to enjoy. Not to mention, they all take their jobs professionally and seriously. Just some cool ass people. So shout out to FTS just for doin great work. Ya’ll are a shining light in a sometimes dark place. 

Also shout out to @alphawolfphotography (on instagram) for the photo.

-Pirate Fresh