Carry Your Self

Beneath my feet the, ground shakes. In the distance, the a purple dust fills the sky. From the haze, he emerges. Charged up and charging towards me. I steady my breath as my heart rumbles within. The closer he gets, the louder it is…

The load is not heavy to carry. It’s the gravity. It’s relentless. It’s the razor blades and broken pieces of your heart beneath your feet. They cut you, but the cuts are only skin deep. So stronger and stronger you grow. Until the broken pieces of your heart fill your wounds and you walk on the edges of razor blades.

The pain, you stuff down deep. Never to be spoken about it. Life is pain and the sooner you become comfortable with that, the sooner the business of living can commence. You must find your own food, find your own shelter, and what of happiness? Happiness must come from within.

I can see your tears, welling up behind your hardened eyes.

Overwhelmed with joy…

You say.

I know your truth. You try and keep them in. You think you can bottle them up and sell them as happiness. But you’re salty my friend. I can see the sweat on your brow. You overflow with pain. Down, down, down you go, down the rabbit hole.

Inside it’s a wonderland of horrors. The devil himself couldn’t have built a playground more suited for pain than this. You saved it all, you wild son-of-a-bitch. If I combined every nightmare I’ve ever had, the resulting monster wouldn’t come close to the abominations you’ve got stored in this place of doom.

But I don’t  blame you. Look at this place. It’s beautiful. Look at them. These monsters. They’re beautiful.

You carried this weight yourself? All this way?

I like the way you carry yourself.

12-18-2019