April 29th, 1992

January 16th 1985 was my first day. August, 1987 my training began. January 16th 1991 was the sixth anniversary of my first day and the beginning of my fourth year of training. March 7th, 1991 the video of the beating of Rodney king was released to the public. Part of my training was watching the national nightly news. As a six year old, every week I watched Rodney king be beaten, within inches of of his life. January 16th, 1992 I turned 7 years old. On this day, my mother took me off to the side and told me “ you are not a cute kid anymore. You are the bad guy. People are going to do bad things around you and you will be blamed because you are black”. I finally graduated. On April 29th, 1992 my parents took my sisters and I out of school. We went home and watched the LA riots. I asked my parents, “Is that going to happen here?” She said she did not know. Shortly there-after I watched a truck driver be beaten, within inches of his life. I saw many fires. I saw much fighting. I stayed up most of that night. Staring out of my window. Looking out into the darkness of the night. I had no thoughts. I went to school the next day as if nothing happened. I didn’t learn to write until September of 1992. I still can’t properly articulate the things I’ve seen. Or maybe I can’t properly articulate how they’ve made me feel. Or maybe the things I’ve seen haven’t made me feel. Maybe I just close my eye and look into the darkness. April 29th, 1992